Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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