as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
