doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
