I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
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