Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Randomize
