My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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