so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
