I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Randomize
