I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
