oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
