its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
