May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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