No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
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