Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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