Who wears a wallet chain?!
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
