did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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