So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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