making cat noises will not fix the situation.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
