TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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