How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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