When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
