cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
