The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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