He is such a slut. More and more my type.
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
