how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
