A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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