WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Randomize
