You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize
