I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
PANTIES FOUND
Randomize
