So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
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