I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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