So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Randomize
