it wasn't lemon gatorade
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
