grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Success! We fucked roommates!
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
