Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
Randomize
