a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
