from now on my penis is your penis
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
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