Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Randomize
