hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Randomize
