I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
