my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
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