Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Randomize
