I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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