Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
