his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
sex in a hospital.. check
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
