things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
