She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
