How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Thank you for not boning my boss.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
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