god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Randomize
