That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
