The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Randomize