Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
