they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
