Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
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