You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
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