so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
