wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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