True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
