ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
