You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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