This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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