I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
