Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
she pinky promised me she was 18
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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