ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Randomize
