im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Randomize
