I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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