Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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