We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
