highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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