So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
