i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Randomize
